Thank You My Frenz...

Salam to all...

Its oredi 12.42 am but i still dun feel like sleeping... must b bcoz of da white coffee dat i drank during berbuka... so, i guess i wanna write something... i wanna express my feeling n appreciate few important people...

to all yg slalu bk my facebuk, u guys mesti perasan status aku kebelakangan ni sedey2 je kn? yes, mmg aku sgt pressure n sgt x epi... like i wrote this morning on my fb status, "Teach me how 2 smile n laugh sincerely.. Coz i ve never did them since i ve been in this hell til i ve forgotten how..."

sejak aku keje, aku mmg sgt x epi... aku smp skrg x ble get along wif my working environment... setiap ari, aku mesti nangis... terlalu byk dugaan n cabaran yg aku terpaksa aku lalui smp aku hampir mengaku kalah... aku leh terima kesibukan, aku leh endure keje yg teruk... tp aku x ble endure environment kat situ...  terutamanya perangai2 manusia (bkn semua) yg mcm tuuuutttttttt!!!! aku hanya bertahan sbb aku x mampu nk byr denda if aku langgar kontrak... klu x, mmg aku dh cabut...

aku realize... life aku dh byk berubah... mcm tu gak diri aku... from a epi go lucky girl, aku berubah menjadi seorg yg kerap nangis... dgn famili pun, aku lebey byk berdiam... selera mkn aku pun dh makin berkurang... aku kerap jatuh sakit... teman baik aku skrg, adelah air mata, lappy, enpon n diary... tu petanda yg aku sgt "bahagia" kn?

tp aku ttp bersyukur... masih ade insan2 yg mengambil berat... aritu, ms aku tgh sedey2... suddenly, 2 org staff ms aku intern kat PGB dlu called, n ask me out 4 roti arab... thanx en. wahid n mat ajis 4 da treat... at least, 4 few hours, i din think bout sad things...

even dis evening... mat ajis did called me... asked me wut is happening to me coz he read my fb profile n it wasnt sounds good... thanx bro 4 ur careness... 

 

to my frens esspecially my BFF, mas syazaneeza shab n my beloved utp osmets... hidayahsaini, farah, uny, azella, n nurulle... jaffa, u r counted too evendo u r not our osmet.. hahaha... not forgotten, Nurul Farhana Zakaria... thanx 4 being my frenz... 4 all things dat we hv gone tru 2gether... during da hardship n happiness...  till da day i die, i wont forget u guys... thanx a lot... evendo we too far apart, but they still support me... thanx a lot gurls... only allah can repay ur kindness... 

my BFF : mas syazaneeza shab... almost 10 years we ve become BFF...

my beloved osmets a.k.a my BFF... they hv been wif me throughout my hardship n happiness... till da day i die, i wont forget u guys...

i luv her too tri four... nurul farhana zakaria....

there is another person, i wanna say millions of thanx to him... 4 da 1st time since i ve been working... i felt really relief when i spoke to him... he had given me some advices n spent hours just to listen to my prob evendo he is now too far away from me.. thanx a lot 4 being such a great listener... i'm really lucky to hv a brother like u... 

evendo i owez keep complaining about my life, my career, my life path as they din turned out as i want them to be... but now i realize.. how lucky i am... owez surrounded by people who loves me... thanx guys...

Ku Tak Akan Bersuara... Walau Dirimu Kekurangan... Hanya Setiamu Itu Kuharapkan...

Salam to all...

Actually, i wanna post an entry bout my trip to Penang today... But i guess, i ll update bout dat tomoro as there was a very big thing hepen to my younger bro...

Dis evening... i received a call from my abah.. he told me dat my bro was involved in an eksiden... i was really shocked at dat time... i did asked, "dia ok x? dia bw keta mn?" (sgt takut klu2 dia bw motorcycle... motorcycle is more dangerous than car, rite?)

thank you Allah, he did drove a car.. my abah answered,"dia ok ja... x da apa pun... keta ja teruk.. dia bw satria td..." fuh, so relief!!!

then, i did thought bout da car he used... that KAL 1235... da green satria which used to be mine before...  (now oredi in white color)... this is da 2nd time dat car involved in accidents...

1st time, back into the end of 2004 if im not mistaken.. at that time, my abah drove it himself... he was on da way to his office... as my abah tried to avoid da motorcycle which suddenly got into his lane, abah n da car have fallen into the nearby drain after da car spun for a while... thank god, abah only got scratches...nothing serious... but da car... so seriously dented till abah almost sell da car...

n, now my younger brother also face da same thing... thank Allah, my bro was not injured at all...

ok, a few things dat really touched my heart... why i do think dat da car is so meaningful?

1) dat car has been used by my abah to ulang alik from alor setar to padang besar everyday for 2 years (90km for one way journey... 180km per day)
2) my abah used dat car to ulang alik from alor setar tu bukit kayu hitam for 6 years (30km for one way journey... 60 km per day)
3) i used dat car to ulang alik from alor setar to gurun during my intern for 8 months (40 km for one way... 80 km per day)
4) my younger bro is using da car to his politeknik for almost 4 months oredi... (30 km per day I guess)

can u c how hard dat car had struggled for us? It keeps accompany my abah when he went to work, it keeps accompany me during my campus time... n now, it keeps accompany my younger bro when he is finishing his study...

if da car is a living thing, it can be awarded as the most loyal employee!!!

no matter how old it looks, how many times it broke down, how cheap its price can be... for me, it is a very special car which can never been found again...

Tak Bisa Memilihmu...

hehehe... rajin aku menghapdate  blog kn? almost everyday... hehehe..

arini ade mende x best yg aku nk kongsi dgn korang... utk 1st time dlm idup aku... aku disaman polis!!! kesalahan? x pkai sit belt!!!! ok, aku x slhkan abg polis yg comel tu sbb menyaman aku... salah aku sendiri la kn? time tu aku br kuar kilang, lebey krg kol 4.10 ptg... (aku keje walaupun ari sabtu, sbb aku OT arini)...

Aku g balai polis nk tnya psl saman tu... yelah, kna byr brp, mcm mn nk bayar, kna la tnya kn?  leh lak aku terserempak dgn abang polis yg saman aku tu!!! mmg kuat betul jodoh aku dgn abg polis tu... nasib baik muka dia tu comel gak... hehehe...

haih... looks like... elaun OTku utk arini bakal digunakan utk byr saman!!! impianku utk beli kasut crocs dgn duit OT nampaknya mcm tipis... unless klu aku rajin nk uat OT lg next week... dhle elaun OT pun ciput... haih... maaf encik crocs, aku x bisa memilih dirimu... kerna aku perlu bayar saman... inilah salahku yg x pkai sit belt!!!

tp sori guys, aku x dpt nk amik gbr surat saman tu... sbb kamera aku abis bateri da... nanti klu aku dh g bli bateri... aku postkn k?

Pengajaran Utk Arini : Siler pkai sit belt walaupun destinasi anda dkt je!!!

De One n Only... Tima Kaceh Mr. X!!!

hehehe... ade 2 perkara yg aku nk share dgn korg... yg aku rs interesting la... yg jd dlm idup aku!!!

da 1st thing..

td pg, aku g payroll ofis utk amik pay slip aku... sempatla aku lalu kat ofis the heir of da company (the son of the owner of the company)... hehehe... Mr. T!!! dia sgt ensem beb!!!mmg cair la... dh le kaya, ensem plak tu!!! kuikuikui...

ok, x nk citer psl dia dh... hehehe... masuk je aku kat payroll ofis tu, aku pun ckp la,"sy nk amik payslip.."

ade sorg chinese man yg jg... slalunya kak syikin, tp dia on leave lak... laki tu tnya aku, "department mn? nama siapa?"

"test department, zulia aiza," jawab aku dgn selamba...

pastu, dgn selamba jg, dia jwb,"oh, nilah da one n only woman engineer dlm test department!!!" dh la kuat gla dia bckp... semua yg ade dlm blik tu, dh pandang2 jeling2 kat aku.... malu siot!!! uncle, agak2 la... sorg clerk yg ade kat situ ckp,"bagusla, berseri skit test department... suma gelap2 je... so, u jd org plg putih la dlm department tu ek?" adeh, akak nih... selamba gla dia kutuk... hahaha...

ni bkn 1st time aku become da one n only woman or girl dlm department... dlu ms intern, lg dahsyat... bygkan, aku sorg2 je pompuan surrounded by 30 of men... belum campur lg kontraktor.. klu dgr dorg ckp mende2 18SX, aku uat x dgr jelah... paham2 jelah lelaki... x sah idup dorg klu x ckp mende2 mcm tu.. skrg ni, aku still ade technician perempuan... so x la teruk sgt kn? hehehe...lgpun, aku dh biasa idup dikelilingi lelaki... hahaha... 5 thn jd dak mechi... sila kira brp ramai je pompuan dlm mechi tu!!! hahahah....

2nd thing :

smlm, aku g jln2 kat tesco... hajat hati nk bli nasi ayam utk bk puasa!!! (nasi ayam kat tesco cni mmg sdp gla!!!)

memandangkan lbt lg nk bk puasa, aku decided utk jln2 dlu... so, aku pun masuk 'popular' utk tgk2 buku or magazine br... then, aku trus g bli makanan...

time aku nk turun escalator, ade sorg abg thn aku... dia ckp, "adik ni pkai cimb bank ke?" aku angguk je... mmg la... dr dlu pun aku pkai cimb!!! dia soh aku cek wallet aku, tgk ade x atm kad aku... aku pun ikut je... alamak, mmg x de!!!!!!!!!! mn aku dh ilangkan nih???

terus abg tu soh aku sign kat sekeping rough paper... dia nk cek, sign aku sma x dgn sign kat blkg atm kad tu... (yelah, mn dia tau aku ni tipu ke x kn?)

aku pun sign... dia pun bg atm kad aku semula... tima kaceh ye encik X... pengajaran ari ni : sila simpan wallet dlm poket or handbag... jgn pegang kat tgn mcm aku td... sbb atm kad tu nipis... mudah tercabut kluar...

Aku Wanita Biasa...

Kadang ku kuat setegar karang...

Kadang ku rapuh lemah liar merana...

Itu adelah lirik lagu Kris Dayanti, Aku Wanita Biasa... Ok, aku bkn nk citer psl cinta!!! just lirik lagu Kris Dayanti tu very meaningful... Aku rs semua gadis, perempuan or wanita dlm dunia ni terpaksa mengaku mmg petikan lirik tu sgt ade kna mengena dgn diri kami...

Sekuat mn pun kita lihat seorang wanita... Wanita ttp wanita... kami dilahirkan dgn fitrah yang sma... setiap wanita pasti akan menangis bila sesuatu terjadi dlm idup kami... saat sedih atau gembira... ati wanita sgt cpt tersentuh... 

slalu kita dpt melihat wanita akan menangis x kira di hadapan khalayak atau sendirian... bg mereka2 yg bajet tabah mcm aku, akan menangis seorang diri dlm blik... dr kecik, aku x mau air mata aku dilihat org lain... bg aku, biarlah kesedihan tu aku simpan seorang diri...

mesti korg tertanya2, nape tetiba aku tulis psl ni kn? aku just nk express my feeling tentang apa yg terpaksa aku lalui dlm idup aku spjg bbrp tahun ni... klu korg nk bc, bacala... x nk or x ska, siler klik tanda "X" kat bucu atas kanan pc or lappy korg skrg...

suma org tau, aku jenis yg epi go lucky... mcm dlm idup aku ni x de masalah je... ade gak yg labelkan aku sbg garl yg garang.... bajet mcm aku ni jenis kuat la... tp sape yg tau, aku selalu menangis dlm blik... setiap ari aku menangis...

setiap kali aku bgn pg nk g keje... aku mesti nangis... then, time dok ngadap keje yg btimbun ats meja... aku nangis lg... balik keje... b4 tito, aku nangis lg... nk tau nape? sbb aku benci gla dgn keje aku... aku benci dunia engineering... aku dh try my hardest utk sukakan apa yg aku buat... bkn sehari 2... tp 5 thn!!! 5 thn aku try... tp smp saat ni... sedikit rs suka pun xpnah wujud dlm ati aku... 

tmbh lak dgn kerja aku skrg ni yg mmg membuatkan aku sgt menyampah... smp aku pnah ckp... its not a workplace... its a hell!!! suma org ckp, engineer is everyone dreamed job!!! ok, aku benci jd engineer k??? benci benci benci!!! 

dlu, bila aku nk tukar uat cos lain... nk berenti blaja engineering (pas SPM result kuar)... suma org bantah!!! ok, pegawai yg organize interview utk scholarship tu pun bantah n ckp kat ayah aku, dun let her go 4 other thing... sedara mara aku pun membantah!!! sdgkan aku bkn ska2 uat keputusan camtu... aku tau diri aku... aku tau sejauh mn ability aku... aku tau minat aku... aku tau kesukaan aku... engineering doesnt suit me at all!!!bila suma org bantah... aku tpaksa mengikut walau hati aku x pnah rela!!!!

skrg ni, bila aku lgsg x epi n sgt suffer dgn dunia engineering... ade sesapa dtg tlg aku??? aku sesape contribute air mata utk aku?? aku sesapa tlg aku nangis??? ade?? ade?? none of them!!! im crying alone... dorg x ksah pun... bkn nyer dorg yg sedey kn? aku yg sedey... aku yg suffer... dorg idup bahagia je... aku yg ssh... aku yg sakit...

so, aku nk pesan kat korg... klu korg rs ape yg korg uat tu betul... just do it... jgn biar org lain pengaruhi keputusan korg... sbb kesannya nanti... korg yg akan tanggung.. dorg akan lps tgn je... 

aku dh nekad... one day... aku akan blaja accounting balik... itu cita2 aku... itu impian aku... when i mentioned bout dat, one of my close fren did said : nanti org lain dh pkai keta cantek2, ko pkai keta ijau ko tu lagik... 

lg baik pkai keta buruk tu dr aku terus menangis spjg idup aku... nape? ko nk tlg nangis utk aku ke? klu ko nk tlg nangis utk aku x pela... tol x? ni idup aku... so, biarlah aku atur idup aku sendiri... klu Allah x izinkan, itu cerita lain... sekurang-kurangnya, aku dh cuba!!! klu gagal, aku anggap itu takdir... tp klu mengaku kalah sblm berjuang, itu bukan aku!!!!!!!!